never play flip cup with pint glasses
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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