he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
