I think i peed on brittanys purse
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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