So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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