he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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