You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize