Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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