dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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