We're facebook friends in real life
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
