its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
