i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can't turn off my feet"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
