dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
