Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Did I show you my penis last night?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
