I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
