Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
And then my night got REAL pukey
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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