So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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