"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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