I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
