god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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