Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
wow bdsm is so cute
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
