Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
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I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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