whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
