i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Quick, to the slutcave!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
