Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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