Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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