I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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