just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
