Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
