That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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