pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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