im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Randomize
