i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
