And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
