I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We are two peas in an std pod
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
