if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
