apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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