dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
