Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
