you guys were way drunker than both of me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
