She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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