You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
