i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
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Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
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I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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