do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just had sex on a roof
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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