Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
