Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
