Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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