Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
