don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I currently don't understand fingers.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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