I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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