FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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