that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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