This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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