You made me cry and you don't even care
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
