Have you finally orgasmed yet?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
