to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
