if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I have post one night stand depression
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