So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
