babies were throwing up all over the place
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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