jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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