whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
