our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
