I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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