grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
